A little, a lot, passionately, madly? Who does not recall plucked daisy trying to defeat the terrible doubt about the love or the beloved? Who does not remember the emotions of young love in the first 14, 16 or 18? How close to the elected (e) we could capsize and dream for hours ... even before you speak to him? We were in love with Love.
The first release, the first kiss, the first promise, the first stroke, the first two dream project. It was so wonderful and it was so beautiful, nothing existed without him, the future was not possible without it. Our love was pure and eternal. We transform the world, had the most beautiful children and live happily. Nothing could stop us. Except ...
The first heartbreak. What tears and sobs! How could he do this to me? I never imagined it could be like that. What a great vacuum created the first heartbreak! As stomach ache and stomach the loss of a loved one can bring. How depressing! And just before sinking completely, here comes ... a new love.
We always remember fondly our first puppy love. And learning how to love has been fraught with challenges, but also fun and joy unspeakable. Until finally the gem arrives and we make the leap: we promise to always love, for better or for worse.
However, according to official statistics, only 2 out of 10 couples confirm the conclusion of the novels or films love they got married, had many children and lived happily ever after? We all couples who love accomplices since their teens, who studied together, that have beautiful children and seem made to spend the rest of their lives together know. But we know that more couples, oh! surprise, got divorced. In fact, five out of 10 marriages now, according to figures from the World Health Organization, end in divorce.And three couples who stay together for better but mostly for worse, no longer speak or yell into residences for the elderly.
What makes a successful couples who walk and pass through the years? Is there a magic formula or magic to everyone? What makes some never seem to have problems with their lovers and others always seem ready to commit suicide or depressed after a heartbreak? People seem happy, with or without stable partners, others cling to first come first or who can say no.
Much has been written about the difficulties of love. Hundreds of books shows how much love is often used as a drug, and of course when the drug is absent, arrive withdrawal symptoms, physical and psychological.
But what is love?
They say that love is an emotion. Little Robert tells us that emotion is: a movement, agitation, emotional reaction, usually intense. Love would be a movement towards somebody. How two people moving toward one another and their respective lives, they can make it last this reciprocal movement through the vicissitudes of life together?
In my opinion, there are three essential for the continued love of conditions: admiration, dreams and sexual desire. And these three components must be channeled to the same person. And reciprocal. And stable. But not necessarily in that order desire can arise from admiration or vice versa.
I can not love someone if I admire and I feel that someone admired me.Admiration is a feeling of joy and fulfillment to what is considered beautiful or large (Petit Robert). There is the love in compliance. From the moment where we shout nonsense, serious mortgage love. We may not always agree on the education of children, how to spend the money (those are the two main sources of disagreement) ... but we must always agree on the fact that the other is a single human being worthy of respect and admiration. Do not forget that two lovers are also two intimate enemies ... which must respect. The decline admiration is parallel to the decrease in love. Hence the importance of standing in front of his partner.
Two people in love share the same projects, the same dreams, the two accomplices who are plotting their future together: the purchase of the first house or first car, the arrival of the first child and following the success professionals either, social involvement, holidays, retirement ... Again, individual dreams are not necessarily the same and do not necessarily have to make the dreams of the couple, but from the time when the personal dreams take over, or from the moment I find myself dreaming with a (an) other, the end of the common dream is near. Any couple is based on two independent people with their own respective projects. To love is to dream all things possible.
Obviously, love is based on mutual physical attraction. So that the act of love means sex. What is more wonderful than making love with your loved one? Loving someone is wanting to stick, touching, caressing, interpenetrate, to merge. But it is also maintaining his desire and the desire of the other keeping a certain distance. You're not me and I'm not you. One plus one is not one, but three, ie you, me and us. Lightning strikes can not survive the passion, because the total fusion kills desire. I only wish that I did not not have what I have. You also exist outside of me and I exist outside of you. The distance is necessary to desire and allows the approximation of becoming fun.
Does this mean that sexual difficulty or loss of libido means a loss of love?Sometimes, but not always. However, this is an indication that something is happening in one or the other or in the dynamics of the couple which the couple must deal at the earliest in order to survive. Need to be alone, to talk, to be listened to together away from children and work, to rest, to find a new common dream, to regain be wonderful I am and the other is to readjust our respective movements and torque.
It is true that the heart has reasons that reason does not know, but the reason can teach the heart the direction to take and how to recognize the warning signs of shortness of emotion. The enduring love, we can not say it enough, is of passion and reason, heart and head.
Living together is not an instinctive behavior. We must learn to live together, as we have learned to walk, talk, write, ride a bike, drive a car, do our job, etc.. More ... where teachers are??
Box - Love is:
Offering flowers for no reason.
Loving each other, especially cleansed.
Doing little something that makes the difference between being good and being great.
Put his nose in the pillow when the other party.
Accept importance of a temporary distance.
Find nice to do the dishes because we are together.
Knowing laugh together, one another.
Call, say I love you, and hang.
Touch the aura of the another without physically touching.
Seeing with new eyes.
Taking razor the other without getting quibble.
And for you, what is love?
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